Saturday, November 18, 2006

Sex With A Hedgehog For Premature Ejaculation

Belgrade, SR -- A Serbian man who went to a witchdoctor in search of a cure for premature ejaculation rather foolishly took the shaman's advice, viz: have sex with a hedgehog.

You know the rest: Zoran Nikolovic, 35, from Belgrade, ended up in the hospital with severe lacerations to his wedding tackle, according to Ananova. A hospital spokesman said: "The animal was apparently unhurt and the patient came off much worse from the encounter. We have managed to repair the damage to his penis."

We contacted a member of the International Association of Witchdoctors this morning for a comment. He told us: "This demonstrates the dangers in consulting unlicenced witchdoctors. We advise anyone with ejaculatory disfunction to consult our list of approved practitioners."

On the matter of premature ejaculation, he added: "Mix one teaspoon of powdered ocelot spleen with Red Bull under a full moon. Drink one hour before attempting penetration while sitting in a pentacle formed by toad skulls. Then, when you're on the job, think about the mother-in-law and filling in tax returns."

No comments: